You can always find happiness at work on Friday.

Lets just say that the cookie is going to be the better part of the fortune cookie.

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.

The only normal people are the ones you dont know very well.

Doesnt expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Forgive your enemies…but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

You may write in your own fortune on the line __________________________________________.

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

The Chinese food you just finished was the most American made thing you have bought since 1995.

A fanatic is one who cant change his mind, and wont change the subject.

You are feeling generous and will leave a substantial tip for the server at the Chinese restaurant.

You seek to find meaning from a little slip of paper inside a little cookie. You are gullible.

The world may be your oyster, but it doesnt mean youll get its pearl.

Water is your friend. It will help you wash down your fortune cookie.

Your fortune cookie will taste suspiciously like an ice cream cone without the ice cream

Never give up unless defeat arouses that girl in accounting

Help!!! I am being held hostage in a Chinese bakery

Marriage lets you annoy one specialpersonfor the rest of your life

Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday

He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

If you think we are going to sum up your whole life on this little piece of paper your crazy

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when youre in deep water.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He wont expect it back

Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.

A recent prison escapee that is sitting nearby wants to love you long time.

Your dog Sparky… well, hes no longer missing

Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.

See the waiter about our new food poisonlife insurancepolicies.

You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.

Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you

If you grow up to be famous you ow me $100 because i totally called it!

Come back later. I need a nap. Yes, fortune cookies sleep.

Confuscius say Man who fart in church sit in own pew

Confusis say, Tack in chair fun but screw in bed more fun.

You are the crunchy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life

Watch out for the brown bear and the gray donkey. One will claw you while the other will make an ass out of yourself.

Find all your favorite cheer sayings, and cheer slogans all right here in one convenient place. In any other sport, if you miss the catch all you lose is the ball.

Motivational and Uplifting cheer quotes. A good cheerleader is not measured by the height of her jumps but by the span of her spirit.

unique collection of 60th birthday sayings, quotes, greetings and expressions on being 60. Youre a certified classic at Sixty!

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